I've been reseraching everything I can about OCD, especially Pure-obsessionals. But everytime i read something that doesn't hit home I start doubting that it is the OCD. Thinking what my boyfriend said "That perhaps you were infatuated for so long that you're starting to come out of it and feel mature love and it's confusing you, everyone goes through this from time to time"
But what he doesn't understand is with OCD everything seems real. Every thought, every feeling. I try and keep a steady head about this. there are times when I think of our future and I'm excited and I smile.
Then I spike again. It's only been a few months. But now that I'm calm and the anxiety isn't so bad I'm freaking out with the quiet doubts.
Today i had a minor break through. I broke down crying twice the first time since all these thoughts started. I read how people with rocd cry about their relationships and such but I couldn't and that made me questioning if my feelings were real or not sicne I was normally an emotional person.
I try and make a list of why I love him and why i don't and the loving list is longer then the not list.
I'm hoping if I up my meds it will help as well