Originally Posted by Brokend
I wasn't trying to insult you, and I'm sorry that you misread it that way.
You chose the words you did, not me. The way it was worded came across as you being the one making the decisions and she was the one suffering for it.
I fully understand how chronic pain can affect an entire family, but anything that you're suffering pales in comparison to what she is going through. I was simply saying that maybe it would be best to let her and her doctors coordinate her care, because it sounds like (again, your words, not mine) your ideas for her were not panning out well.
Agreed, when you worded your original post, it sounded as if you were in control of her pain control, medical care and life. Not meaning to be insulting at all in any way, but as a severe chronic pain sufferer who has not only failed back surgery nerve pain but migraines with stroke like aura, I find being in control of my own medical needs at least restores some of my independence and dignity and many times when someone in the family including a spouse approaches a doctor especially a new one on behalf of the patient in request of pain meds, they are then skeptical to prescribe to the patient because unfortunately their is such a large amount of drug abuse and sale ESP of opiates in the US, ESP in and around VA, so in trying to speak for your wife you may actually hinder the care she may have received had she spoke for herself and took her own initiative. Also having been in the condition I am in, there has been very few times I allowed or were the doctors receptive to my husband. Asking for or about anything regrading my medical care and medications.
Doctors in the practice of pain mgmt are skeptics to begin with, understandable taken the amount of times they have patients who do misuse their help and abuse or sell what they prescribe the patients, and as for affect on family, yes it affects the family, but nothing like it does your wife, I'm 100 percent certain of that, you know have her take charge of what's best for her headache management. Hope she gets better