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Old 04-04-2012, 11:19 PM   #4
Ran557 Ran557 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Las Vegas
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Re: Fiance' doesn't want sex

Woah, back down girls. Porn addiction is a big deal.

I'm amazed that he's even able to get an erection strong enough for penetration. Normally men with a porn addiction have a hard time getting and maintaining erections from normal sexual activities. Heck, he's probably watching the porn because it's the only way he can get a proper erection.

Porn addiction (in males), alters the mentality and makes it very difficult to take part in REAL sex. I should know because I was in that same boat.




The first thing you need to do is, not only stop him with the porn, but he needs to stop sexual activity 100%. Outercourse, masturbation, everything. This includes even *fantasizing* about porn. It ALL needs to go. His brain needs to reboot and come back to reality.

That's the hurdle, and then comes the ditch. After a while he should completely lose his libido. Good, that means that his sex drive has shut down and is getting time to reboot. It will all come back and hopefully your sex-life will start over, and normal this time.

You're going to need patience with him, but if he truly does love you he'll do this for you and you need to help him through this.




Starting off is the worst.
Completely clear the house of porn. No more videos, no disks, nothing at all. Set the safe search on the computer so nothing unexpected comes up.

Next step, whenever he gets the urge, tell him to put in a video game or a movie, or something interactive than he can focus on. Remember, you can't have him thinking about porn. It could be months without any sexual activity, but if he's still fantasizing about porn he won't get better.


Next part I imagine will be the hardest for you. After he loses his libido there's nothing to do but wait for him to get better. That'll take some serious patience, and DON'T RUSH IT! Don't ever try to rush it. Better be safe than risk a relapse. Remember, the problem is in his brain; it needs to reboot. You can't rush that, and any attempt to do so could be a step in the wrong direction.



If he doesn't do this for you, drop him. If I can do this for myself then he can do it for you.

 
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gamergirlie (04-20-2012)