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Old 04-06-2012, 08:13 AM   #5
Just Tell Me Just Tell Me is offline
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Re: Fiance' doesn't want sex

I'm sorry that you are experiencing this problem in your relationship, it can't be easy to live like this. You obviously love him and have made concessions for his benefit but as you are discovering, you making all the effort and showing support while getting very little in return is starting to take it's toll on your emotions and feelings. You say he feels bad about not meeting your needs but he doesn't feel guilty or bad enough to make enough effort in improving the situation because you enable him to get his needs met while yours go lacking.
This is someone who needs some tough love. Someone else down the line most likely would not put up with this kind of treatment for very long and it's unfair that you continue to suffer because of his addiction. He needs to stop consuming porn cold turkey, no if's and's or but's, COLD TURKEY!!!! He needs to lay completely off masterbating and you need to completely stop offering him oral. As hard as it's going to be, he needs to realise that partnered sex is a two ways street and a priviledge, not a right. If he wants a partner he'll comply and work harder for a solution to HIS problem. I know addictions are hard to break and whether the problem is alcohol, drugs, sex, or porn, requires complete withdrawel from that behavior. Unless and until he takes the innitiative to end this addiction you should consider at least a pause if not a complete break from this relationship. His addiction may be painful and allienating for him, but look at what it's costing you. Two years of being his mouth while he consumes his porn is enabling him in his addiction while prostituting yourself in the process. You deserve so much more than that and until you make a stand, you'll likely get the same kind of treament. Good luck to you, I hope you give yourself and your potential future the priority in this situation.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to Just Tell Me For This Useful Post:
gamergirlie (04-20-2012)