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Old 04-09-2012, 09:12 PM   #1
littlewhitelies littlewhitelies is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: California, USA
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My dad was my best friend. :(

My father passed away March 22nd, three days before his 66th birthday (and the day he had planned to start retirement). Although it has been almost three weeks, I am still in complete shock.

My father's death was sudden and unexpected. I took him to the Emergency Room early Tuesday morning for abdominal pain, and less than 48 hours later, his whole body had given out and he was pronounced dead. The doctors still have no clue what happened... they cannot confirm anything. In the Emergency Room, the doctors said he was having a massive heart attack and rushed him to get an angioplasty, but found out that there were no blockages in his heart to be cleared. This caused the cardiologist to speculate that it may not have been a heart attack in the first place.

However, he was sent to the Cardiac ICU for further monitoring, and that's when his blood pressure fell dangerously low. They were pushing bags and bags of IV fluids into his body to keep his blood pressure from bottoming out. That's when they suspected that he might have severe septic shock which was causing the low blood pressure, but they were unable to take him to get a CT scan done to find out if there was any necrosis of the intestines causing the blood infection because he was too unstable to be moved. 24 hours after he was admitted into the Cardiac ICU, his lungs started to give out and he had to be sedated and put on a respirator.

My father's kidneys started to fail, and was unable to dispose of the extra fluids in his body being pushed in intravenously. His body was unable to rid itself of the toxins. The doctors tried to put him on dialysis, but regular dialysis caused his blood pressure to dip too low. They put him on a very slow dialysis, but it was not fast enough to rid his body of the toxins that had been building up for over a day now.

Finally, at 3:45am Thursday morning, my father's heart stopped beating. My mother, brother, and I were sleeping in the family room and heard a code blue being called over the intercom and knew it was for our father. 30 minutes later, the doctor came to us and told us the news. We were devastated. My father had literally been healthy, and walked himself into the emergency room less than 48 hours prior. Less than a day before he passed, he was sitting up, talking, and joking with the doctors. And in an instant, he was gone.

What makes this so immensely hard is not having answers. We are not sure if the emergency room doctor made a wrong diagnosis initially, or if he was just too sick for anything to be done. We don't even know what caused the severe septic shock. We denied an autopsy, which could have possibly given us answers, but the doctors said that the chances of finding out the cause would have only been 30% at best. We didn't want to put our father's body through any more torment.

My father was my best friend. He was my hero, my biggest motivator, my protector, my confidant... just my daddy. He will never get to walk me down the aisle when I get married, be around when I have grandchildren, enjoy retirement with my mother. He was three days shy of his retirement, and finally having some time off to enjoy life.

My father's death left my whole family heartbroken. It was too early... it wasn't his time yet. I don't yet know how to grieve... or cope... or live life without him. I miss my daddy, so very much.