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Old 04-11-2012, 04:57 PM   #4
captjane captjane is offline
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Re: Is anger genetic?

tiredofbeingmad, it sounds like you need to find a way to lower your stress levels to start. Sometimes we can get so stressed and tired that the littlest things set us off that have nothing to do with why we get angry. I've found that just taking 10 mins a day to just close my eyes, relax and focus on my breathing really helps, but you could do some exercise or listen to some relaxing music, and just take 10 minutes to bring your stress back down, and allow yourself to be calm, don't think about anything, just keep clearing your mind of your thoughts, and give yourself that time to just focus on relaxing. It takes practice but you get to a point where you can shut everything out and just relax.

The other thing you should try to work at is stopping the reaction. As soon as you realise you are lashing out, stop, take a deep breath and give your mind a moment to think about how you want to respond. You have to break that cycle of "reacting", but right now that happens so instantly that you don't have a chance of thinking first. If you make a conscious effort to stop that instant reaction when it happens, breathe, think, and you keep doing that it becomes a new habit instead of reacting.

But don't expect these things to work over night, you have to really decide you are going to work at it and practice these things, but you can teach your mind to stop that instant reaction and teach it to take a pause to think first, and that gives you control because when you react, you don't have any control of what you're saying or doing. Hope that makes sense.

Last edited by captjane; 04-11-2012 at 04:59 PM.