Originally Posted by badidea
It is a constant battle for me during the day to not be depressed or start crying (understand that I was never an overly emotional person before this). Trying to figure out how to accept what I have done and look forward and not back. I'm think I'm going to go see a psychologist next week, as I know I'm dealing with PTSD and depression plus who knows what else. I wake up every night with anxiety attacks, racing heart, sweating, etc. This is no way to be. I keep hoping I'll wake up and find out that this has all been a very bad dream.
**The icing on the cake for me is seeing my daughter in her glasses every morning and knowing I'd give just about anything to go back in time and put my glasses/contacts on again. I just tell her I love her and to not hate her glasses - it could be worse. And to think my worst problem was that my contacts really bugged me during allergy season!
So my question for those who have struggled through anything similar - how do you move on and accept what you have willingly done to yourself? How do you forgive yourself? I know that is important, but not sure how to get there. And how do you keep from sliding into despair every time you see someone in glasses? I have a long life ahead of me and I just can't continue to torment myself like this every day.
Thanks for any insight you may be able to provide.
I am in the same spot as you. I was already on meds and diagnosed with depression and anxious personality disorder preop, and yet they green lighted me for this procedure, pretty higher prescription too -7, which is probably too a risk for perfect outcome. So I wonder what is the point of questions and patient being sincere. I guess I've chosen wrong greedy megalomaniac clinic, maybe some smaller clinic would eliminate me. I blame myself mostly, which ofcourse makes me have suicidal thoughts, sometimes shaking, I just pop some xanax and go to sleep or otherwise I might do something to myself. I am a big computer geek so movies, games all that hobbies and entertainemtn made me calm before and I could occupy my brain. Now I can't watch movies normaly or play something, so I think more about my condition.
So it's interesting how some people from different parts of world end up the same after this procedure. I think you definetly need to see a psychiatrist, get some meds to get calmer, some antidepressants etc. You can wait maybe there is something going to get better or go ask for solutions at different clinics, for more opinions. I can tell my procedure was one year ago, I was crying many nights after it, because i didn't get myself how did I end up doing it. Now i'm a little better, because of meds and come coping, but there are days when I am so angry, well ofcourse, if i can't watch tv nrmally, i makes me remeber why, or drive at night.
Hang on, just go to therapist and get some meds to calm down, then go to everything else. And it might get better, at least something, cause you are only 2 weeks post op.