First of all Janet, I would like to offer my condolences on the loss of your parents. I will keep you in my prayers. Second, I will pray for your sister too. Maybe her actions are just her way of dealing with the grief. When my aunt passed, my mother fought me at every turn to try and help her. She wouldn't let my father or my other siblings comfort her either. Later she said it was because she was so hurt, angry and felt so alone and this was her means to protect herself until she could come to terms with the loss of her only sister. Sometimes, relationships can be improved when we are going through.
A positive aspect that has arisen from the strokes is that my mother and I are closer than ever. It's not that we weren't close before, but with my job and family, I saw her only weekly and called her a couple of times a week. Now, we talk daily, and see each other more frequently during the week.
I have been paying more attention to my anxiety attacks and am focusing on using them when I have them. I informed my therapist that I would begin with my two children, one who moved back home for a couple of weeks and at this writing, is now in her own place. She and her brother would argue and I would just have to leave the area because I couldn't handle it. I knew that if I didn't start dealing with this now, how could I ever go back to my current job. It's been tough, the little attacks, I now have under control and I'm working on when I am on sensory overload which produces even greater attacks. One day at a time.
I'm even driving short distances, but not in heavy traffice as there is just too much activity at that time .
I too love to garden and I frequently find myself on the ground when I stand up suddenly, turn and begin walking, (two steps later) turn around because I forgot what/where I was doing/going, and suddenly turn around again. Force of habit.
We are all masterpieces in progress.