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Old 06-21-2012, 03:28 PM   #1
all4mom all4mom is offline
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(female)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 144
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Rant: Useless paid help

I'm pretty new to this "hired caregiver" thing, but I MUST work and keep my job (boss has let me go part-time as it is), and brother -- still miffed that I pulled Mom out of what would've been long-term in the SNF after she was d/c from rehab -- is visiting now all of ONE hour a day (be still my heart), so needs must hire help. I had a total of FIVE lined up before she was released; one by one, these private caregivers (most of whom wanted to be paid in cash under the table roughly the equivalent of my take-home pay, and I'm nearing retirement) flitted away to take other jobs after promising to wait on Mom. So I decide that route is unreliable and use agencies. My mother is 180 lbs. and a huge fall risk: the first woman they sent was maybe 5' and 100 lbs. and had no clue how to assist with ADLs. The second was a smoker who had to run out for smoke breaks every five minutes. The third (or so said my mother, and how do I know whether or not to believe?) entertained her boyfriend on the side porch while leaving Mom alone indoors. The fourth seems nice enough and is hefty enough to handle Mom, but she TALKS TALKS TALKS TALKS and drives us both crazy (and I'm with her only as she's coming and going). They all seem obsessed with finishing some task I've started (emptying the dishwasher of clean dishes or dryer of clean clothes) and putting it all away in the wrong place so I must conduct a search-and-rescue of these items and put them where I keep them, thus doubling my work. None seems to know how to bathe/shower a person properly. Few seem comfortable with toileting her OR humoring her dementia-related symptoms, although all claim to specialize in this. AND they cost a fortune (literally). What do you all do for respite; where do you find good help? Ah, feel better!

 
The following user gives a hug of support to all4mom:
slenderella (06-21-2012)