Thread: Feeling unfit
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Old 07-03-2012, 06:52 PM   #1
thedarkness thedarkness is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Washington State
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Feeling unfit

I am BI Polar II and possibly have PMDD. On the 17th I found out i am pregnant. after meeting with my Psych we decided it best for baby to go off my meds. I am depressed and lost. Here is my story....
10 year drug addiction. Started recreational ended with heroin and meth. Over the last decade I have seen several different DRs and been prescribed many different medications, never once was a drug test administered???? I guess i assumed that once i got rid of the street drugs i wouldn't need the anti depressants. Wrong again, about 5 months into my recovery i decided to stop the meds, i relapsed and promptly went back on my medication. Roughly 5 months after that a new pattern started to form. It took nearly a year from my relapse to make any sense of what i was going through. Equipped with a proper diagnosis from a specialist and a new regime of medication and exercises I felt hope for the first time in months. Now I am terrified, I feel unfit to be a mother. I am so depressed. I am morning sick most of the day. I dont know if what i am feeling is the absence of my medication or the hormones either way i dont like how i feel. I need stability i need laughter, i need to be a good mother.