Originally Posted by aileb
My weight really hasn't fluctuated too greatly, but I can related to having some of the problems you mentioned.
Eating disorders don't fully go away when we stop the behaviors or when we reach a "normal" weight because they are a psychological problem.
You stopped the eating issues, but eating disorders aren't eating issues. They are psychological problems that revolve around on thoughts and behaviors.
The negativity, anxiety, avoiding conflict, minimizing the problem, lack of self-awareness, etc. are all traits of people eating disorders. (Again, these traits don't go away when you reach a stable weight.)
Now that you are at a stable weight, it would be worth giving therapy another try. How long did you go? Not all therapists are the same.
It's really great that you have been able to stop the physical behaviors. I am also in this part of recovery. I stopped the physical behaviors but the thoughts and traits remain.
Also, people with EDs can cycle between disorders with periods of lows and highs. Relapse rates are also high.
I don't mean to be so negative. When I started recovery, I thought my ED thoughts would go away when I reached a normal weight.
I remember waiting months... for the ED thoughts to lessen during recovery. It never happened because it was just me and my ED thoughts. I didn't know how to challenge and change the ED thoughts on my own. For years, the ED was my identity.
I had to go to therapy--it was uncomfortable and scary at first. But my therapist really challenged my ED thoughts and I am learning how to do better in recovery.
Aileb, I understand EXACTLY what you mean when you say that an eating disorder doesn't disappear when we reach a normal weight. I am in therapy for anorexia and I've gained weight, but my 'anorexic' mind is stil as strong as ever. And it's annoying because suddenly people don't think your sick anymore because you look 'normal', even though you are still anorexic; it's just not able to be seen because you are at a normal body weight.
Do you have any experiences similar?