Re: any hope at recovery
Just reading this I feel so terribly sorry for you. I am no doctor but I think on of the best ways to start getting better is by developing a very very fixed routine. Get 8 hours of sleep EVERY night and go to bed at EXACTLY the same time. Try not to take too much medication (for headaches, sleeping etc) because it seems like your tummy needs a few years to work out what its job in your body is. Eat 6 times a day. Start with breakfast, eat a morning snack, have a well-rounded lunch, then an afternoon snack, then supper (more than 4 hours before you go to bed because sleeping on a big meal is bad for digestion), and perhaps have a very small snack, e.g. crackers and cheese about an hour before bed. Depending on your job make the biggest effort possible to eat these meals at exactly the same time every day. Humans are creatures of routine and your body hasn't had a good one for years. If you can develop an iron routine like this I think it will be the first step towards a healthier mind, improving your memory, lowering anxiety, and getting rid of those hunger pains. If you struggle with you body image, let me tell you that I am extremely underweight without meaning to be, and many days I cry about how ugly I look because I am so thin. I know it's a little different for girls and guys, but underweight guys are much less attractive than the ones who are slightly overweight - I don't mean fat because that also causes physical strain, just if you're going to swing a little one way or the other, overweight beats underweight in terms of attractiveness.