Junior Member (female)
Join Date: Feb 2011
Re: He Lied to Me!
Well, guys, thanks for your lovely words and I'm here to update you and whomever else read this on my situation. I know it's going to sound like venting and that I'm exaggerating, but I write this in the hopes that everyone will learn from my experience.
So, it was my 28th birthday on Wednesday. Like I said before, I found out he kissed Anita and joked about having sex with her just 6 days before. Since writing that last post, I talked to my ex, D, who admitted that he had done it because "it was new and spontaneous and made his heart beat", that there was some attraction there, but he never would've acted on it. Since then, he had been staying at the apartment, in the living room. He would talk to me when he came back from work, like we were friends, that nothing happened, which totally shocked me. He would also come into my room in the morning to tell me to have a good day at work and to remind me "how cute [I] looked in the morning." WHAT IS THIS?!
I decided, on Friday (July 20th), to go out and celebrate my birthday and to not let him or what he did stop me from having fun with my friends. Obviously, by the end of the night, I was sad. The one person whom I wanted to be with me wasn't, and I ended up leaving earlier than I expected.
At the end of the night, my other roommate decided he wanted to sleep at his girlfriend's place, which meant that my ex, D, and I would be in the apartment alone. This was fine, because I had the bedroom and he was sleeping on the couch. It was planned that he would be out of the apartment once he found another suitable place to live - something I thought was nice of me to do, considering he cheated on and betrayed me.
My friends called me (it was around 2am at the time); they were at a restaurant and they wanted me to come out. I refused and they assured me that, once they finished eating, they would come over and bring me something to eat. As a result, I tried to wake my ex up to tell him that a) he was snoring exceptionally loudly and b) that he might want to move to our roommate's room because my ex was sleeping on the couch in his underwear. It was at this point, he exclaimed: "You're such a piece of work, J." He repeated this a few times, to which I told him it wasn't right for him to say anything of the sort considering he was the one who hurt me. He got up and swayed a bit: I could tell he had been drinking or smoking marijuana or something, because he enunciated differently when under the influence.
He then went on to say that he "couldn't wait until Sunday", to which I told him upfront to just come clean about whatever he was insinuating because I was tired of all the bulls**t he had and was again putting me through. He then walked up to me and shoulder-checked me on the way to the bathroom. At this point, my friend A had called me and I had just picked up the phone. I had had enough, I walked up to him, told him to tell me the truth, and to never touch me again. He laughed at me, then said: "You're out, J. You lose the apartment. P (our roommate) and I had a vote, you're out. You're not the friend, you're just the girlfriend. We were just waiting until after your birthday to break the news to you."
I began to cry; when I had originally asked P if he would be okay with me staying at the apartment, he said it was fine. Obviously, they had both been planning this for quite some time behind my back. I slapped him and yelled at him, how could he put me through this again. He started shouting at me, calling me a weirdo and crazy and that he was happy to be rid of me. I had never hit him in our relationship before.
It was at this point that he pushed me on the floor and told me to get up and stop crying because it was nothing and that I was just exaggerating. I dropped my phone, so my friend, A, was hearing the entire thing and, I guess, told my other friends that it was not going well.
D walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. I followed him in and protested against them kicking me out. I told them that it wasn't right for them to displace me after everything he had put me through. He LAUGHED IN MY FACE and said: "So, what? Yeah, I cheated on you, but - guess what, J? - I got the apartment." I lost it; I began to scream at him through tears, slapping him, telling him what a **** he was and how he could put me through this after everything I gave him. I supported him financially, mentally, physically. I nurtured him; told him everything was great, that he was great. AND THIS IS HOW I'M REPAID?
I sat on my couch in the living room and began to bawl. He walked past me, outside on to the balcony, and said this: "You know what, J? You're not even on the lease. It's my name and P's name. We could have you evicted tomorrow. So, it's bye bye to downtown for you, J. Go back to Mommy and Daddy's house. You're out." Then, what came out of his mouth next shocked me beyond belief.
"Because, the truth is, J; the truth is this: Women. Never. Win."
What more could I say? I was beaten, bruised, and depressed. He took my heart, my pride, everything. It was at this point, I just let him say whatever; he started calling me names, crazy, *****, whatever. At that point, my friends walked into the door. And, D just...snapped? He acted as though nothing was wrong, he said brightly: "Hey, guys! How's it going? Hey, A! Long time, no see!" and gave my friend a high-five?!
I went into my bedroom and D tried to follow me in. Now that people were there, he began apologizing, saying how he never meant to hurt me. I slammed my bedroom door in his face. My guy friends stayed outside with him, talking about God knows what. I packed a bag and stayed at a friend's place.
The next morning, my friends banded together and helped me move out of the apartment at top speed. During this time, D was texting me, telling me that what I did last night was uncalled for, how he only remembers me physically attacking him like some crazy person. I didn't even bother to reply, because he obviously had gotten so drunk that he didn't remember, or that he pretended not to remember so as to be a victim. I had had it. No more games.
I wanted to get everything out of the apartment before he came home from his lunch date - I guess, with his parents? My friends had already taken the majority of everything and had driven it to my parents' and aunt's place. I was doing one final sweep of the place with my sister, my aunt, and my 10 year old cousin, when D walked back into the apartment. I ushered my family outside and told them to wait a bit. I wanted my peace of mind. I recounted - without any tears - the entire story back to D, who assured me that he couldn't believe he would say that to me. I told him that, after two years of trying to convince me that I was jealous, crazy and irrational, I finally knew that it was HIM who was crazy. To push a girl, jeer at them, revel in your adulterous ways, throwing out misogynistic comments, turning Dr. Jekall and Mr. Hyde on my friends, it was all INSANE! It was too insane for me! That he cheated on his exes before, cheated on me, and was probably going to cheat on his next girlfriend. That he would never learn to be a better man. That I took him back after he said he was going to shank me in my sleep one time - SHAME ON ME! I told him that his issues were not about selfishness anymore, that it was PSYCHOLOGICAL! And then, I left.
I've never been more proud of myself. I hope to God my story shows someone on here that they shouldn't make excuses for losers who manipulate them into believing that they love you. A good relationship is where there is trust and commitment, where you shouldn't feel like you're crazy for wanting them to stay truthful to you. Be strong, stay strong. You're worth it.