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Old 08-14-2012, 09:46 AM   #1
thepalestgirl thepalestgirl is offline
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(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10
thepalestgirl HB User
new here. in limbo land, I guess

Hi, I've been reading this board for a few weeks. I don't even know where to start.

About a month ago the temperature in Chicago went over 100 degrees and I had something similar to what I now know is an MS flare. I wound up in the ER twice, I was convinced I was having a heart attack. Basically my entire left arm went numb. In the ER I had some sort of episode... they told me my left eye rolled back into my head while my right eye was still looking forward.

Many tests later my primary care dr. is referring me to a neurologist because of "a questionable spot" on my brain stem on the MRI. All my problems are on the left side of my body and the "spot" is on the right side of my brain stem. She said there are "several non-specific bright spots, which are very common," and everything else is normal. She said it could be a blood vessel and thinks I might need a CT angiogram of my head. Well I already had a CT of my head and neck and both were normal. I think my doctor is a complete idiot.

Anyway, my appt. with the neurologist isn't until 3 weeks from now. My symptoms seem to be getting worse. I realized I've had some of these for years and now they are really getting bad:

tingling/numbness - started in the left arm, now on the left side of my face too
language problems - can't find the right word; I replace it with a different one and don't even realize it. Also stuttering/slurring.
reading problems - sometimes i close one eye to read.
chest pain
trouble breathing
severe neck pain only on the left side
itching all over - this has just started the past week!
sleep apnea? I wake up gasping for breath. it's terrifying, and happening almost every single night.
exhaustion - i have an iron deficiency and thought that's what was causing it.
trouble swallowing - thought i was imagining this
clumsiness/balance problems - i try to write this one off as being tired.
swollen glands - i know this doesn't fit MS. it's only the left side of my neck.

anyway. i'm completely terrified and convinced i'm going to die in my sleep when i stop breathing. i am itching all over today and my left arm is still numb. lately it just feels floppy, i can't even describe it.

i guess i'm in limbo land. i was supposed to have an MRI of the c-spine too but i freaked out and had a panic attack and had to stop the MRI (I'm claustrophobic and the Ativan did not work).

I'm in so much pain from my neck and just feel like i'm going completely crazy. I'm having a really hard time not sobbing at my desk and on the train every day.

i don't know what to expect at the neurologist. do they usually look at the MRI images or only the report? the MRI lab gave me a copy of the disk with images, and it is awful, I can't even look at it.

i asked my dr. if the MRI showed any signs of MS and she said no. but she seems utterly clueless. i know MRI's can be clean and you can still have it. i don't know why she'd order an MRI of the brain and c-spine (both with contrast) if she didn't suspect MS. is she trying not to worry me?

for what it's worth I'm female, 32. no one in my family has MS, but that doesn't matter. i'm so scared. my boyfriend isn't taking any of this seriously, he thinks i'm fine. thanks for reading, i just need to vent.