Re: I feel angry all the time, please read this..
I do understand how you are feeling. I have been battling depression and the desire to escape my fears, insecurities all my adult life. Mine started with a severe postpartum depression that never went away (30 years ago). I truly believe that professional help with both medication and therapy is valuable. Medication helps restore the balance in the brains neurotransmitters, which can be off balance for a number of reasons, sometimes genetics, hormonal, seasonal, nutritional. It helps to think of depression as an illness, just like any other, that you would treat if you had it. The isolation, anger, unproductivity, lack of ambition, etc are all symptoms that get better with treatment. Therapy helps to break out of the bad habits and learn new healthier ways to cope with stresses. I would make sure my thyroid level is ok as low thyroid can cause serious depression and is often overlooked as a treatable cause. It is important to get out of the house daily, even for a walk around the neighborhood, to get fresh air, light, and a change of scenery. Light exposure in your house is important too, so opening all the blinds can help. Be careful not to use the internet as your only means of socializing, as it is also in isloation physically. You could start by going to your Dr., then the library to read some self help books on depression. I would be open minded to trying an antidepressant to raise your baseline mood. You will find it easier to help yourself once you are out of the quicksand that is pulling you down. You have done a great deal of good for yourself by abandoning the drugs. That took strength and courage. This can get better too! Keep in touch with us-we are all trying to help one another with tough life problems that we can't deal with alone.