My Mom was and is a spitfire. Before Alzheimer's she knew where to channel her determination and fire. Now she usually channels it in my direction. Today I had to laugh. While sitting in her wheel chair she managed to get her feet high enough to prop them on the edge of the table. She always sat that way. Of course the staff was having a fit because of her feet on the table. I was laughing and trying to get a picture for my sisters and nieces. I finally pulled her feet back down the the foot rest and moved her back from the table. She threw a profanity at me and then called me the B word. I couldn't help it... I cracked up!! No, I don't have a prescription for Valium or nerves of steel. What I do have is a well developed sense of humor and I have learned to take things in stride. The world is not going to blow up if Mom puts her feet on the table. 100 years from now nobody will even remember it! I have not always been this way. It took years of practice while learning all I could about this disease and the way they think... but it has served me well. It's all about the mind set. I am a true believe in... it is not what happens but how you react that makes all the different in your mental status
I am glad you are looking for adult day care. Call your local Alzheimer's Association or the national hot line and they will be able to help you locate one if there is one available. Hopefully you will find one that will work for your Mom and give you some time.