Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Crete, Illinois USA
| | how do I know if I have depression, anxiety, or is it just hormones????
I had a full hysterectomy Dec 15, 2011 & cannot take any hormones. I recovered and quit an old job to begin my dream job, was so happy, I hated to clock Out each day I enjoyed it so much. Then on May 14 I hurt my back & on July 17, 2012 I just had major lumbar fusion surgery and am home, unable to do much than wash a few dishes, shower myself. I have to recover until mid January, 2013 at the earliest. I have a wonderful.husband, married 23 yrs this October. I have 3 awesome sons, ages 20, 18, & 14. I LOVE them all so much. I started crying around hysterectomy but I figured that was normal with sudden menopause & just the thought of my middle son leaving home for college (oldest never left home, did local studies) I would cry as my middle son & I are very similar and very close, and he is my first child to ever leave. Then the pain from from my injury made me want to die, had surgery, it took longer and was harder than I ever thought, but my Aweful pain is gone. I normally am the person to look on the bright side, encourage others. But now We are short my entire paycheck. I cried every day from my injury as our son almost wasn't going to be able to attend the university he already earned two scholarships for, and I was so full of guilt, as I took that new great job to help pay.our portion of his tuition. Luckily the university gave him two grants, so his is there. I'm thrilled for.him, yet now I miss him so much I cry. Today I am crying watching The Marry Show!!! I also feel Aweful We are short money to pay bills. My husband.says We will just do best We can, I shouldn't worry, but I always worry about everything, so is.that anxiety??? I also have a very mean, undiagnosed bipolar mother. She has terminated her relationships with all 3 of my wonderful brothers, their spouses, and grandchildren. She begged to come up and help us a few weeks ago, left two weeks early, wrote me a super nasty email, yet upon my husbands advice, I ignored it, and She emails daily like everything is fine. But this time She cursed at my sons and then ignored them. I have spent every ounce of my energy to be the opposite of her raising my sons and they say I am nothing like her. My husband.says the same.same thing to me. I hate days like today, I sleep 10-12 hours, before surgeries I couldn't sleep well even with sleeping pills. Now I am home all alone. I am not in pain, I have a Therapy appt to get ready for my back surgery Therapy. I am crying over tv shows, commercials, hate being in house all alone so much. Am I depressed or am I crying over normal.things? Could it be hormones, anesthesia, or depression? I take Valium as a muscle relaxer from the back surgery, and 0.5 Xanax to stop my brain from thinking to help sleep. Then I.usually take benadryl or melatonin, sometimes ambien. I don't know if I am "normal" or not. I feel I need talk Therapy to deal.with my issues with my mother, my husband says I don't, but I say to.that that he didn't grow.up.with her. I in past have taken antidepressants during fall/winter and I pack on the pounds, so I do not want that again as between two surgeries J have lost almost 30 lbs. Would talking to a Therapist help? I talk to my few good friends, but I feel I need someone to help me set boundaries esp with my mother, and figure out all my crying episodes. Thanks for any advice. Oh, I am 42 yrs old if that matters.
Double tlift fusion L4/L5&L5/S1
July 17, 2012