| | sleep trauma after my assault
In February, I was raped by someone I knew and trusted, someone who had met my family and had dinner in my house. He asked me over, I liked him- he was 5 years older (I am 17). There were three of his friends there. He started to tell me that I was a **** for going there. One of his friends held me down by my shoulders, the other two stood at the end of the bed and one of them was holding a video camera. He started to rape me, telling me I was disgusting and a ***** and they threatened to put the video on the internet. I just lay there, allowing him to spit on me and scream at me. It hurt me alot and I bled alot.
They all left the room and I just lay there naked. I guess one of them felt sorry for me, cause he came in, and dressed me and drove me to my house.
I seemed to get over it pretty quickly, nobody had any idea, I didn't even tell my boyfriend.
But in the last three months or so I have been having flashbacks while I sleep. Whenever I have shared a bed with my boyfriend he says that I thrash about, whimper, and I often shout 'stop' and 'no'.
Although I don't remember speaking at all, I can remember the dreams very well. Sometimes all four of them are there, but the ones that are worse seem to be just me and him.
I can't be woken up when I am having these dreams, it's like I am locked in a sleep paralysis or something. Other than these dreams I don't seem to be affected, I have a healthy sex life with my long term boyfriend and am pretty much the same girl as I was before.
My only giveaway are these dreams. How can I make them stop so I can get over this and move on?