I did the same thing... I'd always bow out of plans and blame a migraine... Then I moved far away from most friends which only furthered my isolation. The guy I was with for years was on pills too, so we just stayed away from everyone. Then we broke up and I spent most of this year working all the time and taking pills to numb the sorrow. Although I've been abusing pools for years and years, this time it was coupled with a bad depression.
Finally I've come out of that depression and am seeing friends again. I have the energy too!
I started by making plans small- like one pal for lunch and a movie. So if I felt "off" I had the movie to hide behind as I warmed up to coming out of my shell.
You can do that too... even while you are still taking. It's really good to get out of the house and see that there is a fun time waiting for you on the otherside. It may help to give you extra strength when you see an old friend or have a good time out and realize you really want back into the world.
I keep my pills in a monthly pill divider. It does help me register what I'm taking, but it won't stop you if you want to go over your day allowance. But, if you really try to control them, it WILL help, cause it serves as a reminder. You know exactly what you are doing when you reach onto the next days supply. Times like that, it's probably best to read a book, post on the board, get a distraction going...
Like , today I want to get high so badly. It's been awhile since I really did. (well, like u, usually in the past I just take so I dont get sick - they tend just make me tired. And after my 17 days sober, that feeling isn't a welcome one. So no matter how badly I want more, I refuse to ruin what I'm trying to do. But today will be tough.
Maybe this week make just one plan with a friend? And maybe pick one day where you will take (half a pill) less and check it out. Stay there for a day or two and then try to bump down again to a whole pill or 3/4 (get a pill cutter).
You can do it! It's scary and the w/ds are not fun, but in the scheme of life, it's really only 3-4 days and then you turn a corner and do start to feel a lot better.
And please remember- You aren't weak. You are being strong by posting and stronger still by considering quitting. It's just that these things are hard to quit. But you can do it. Babysteps are fine. Just try to stand strongly in those steps.