Re: 1 yr today was my fusion....hardware removal just scheduled :(
We were active during the same time. I actually just popped back a couple weeks ago when I also got bad news....I've been bed-ridden since Feb and seems I had zero bone growth (a lovely 2% chance with BMP). Likely looking at another surgery, posterior w/ a graft and a lot more extensive hardware...but need more testing first.
So sorry to hear it hasn't been a good journey for you. I hoped that a lot of the folks I "knew" were off living full lives. I hope the removal proves the ticket for you and you get well soon. Not much to offer beyond a hug and wishes for better days to come. Actually...one thought....Have you tried Neurontin or another such drug (didn't work for me but figured worth a mention...it was one of the attempts from the Pain Mgmt folks when the tests for the blocks failed)? I think it is a more live-able answer than "regukar" pain meds (doc said it could be a lifetime med if it had worked...).
P.S. I gave in and did apply for SSDI...long process but may be worth a look...I denied that I was "there" for a long time.