Going over the edge...
Sitting here at 7:40am and supposed to be getting ready for work, but can't bring myself to get off the couch. The anxiety is killing me....trying desperately to keep the crying from bursting out and remember that I am still lucky to even have a job that I should be going to.
After having dealt with a doctor who kept telling me it was all in my head and I was just 'depressed' I finally found a new doctor who is listening. She tested everything all over again and found out that old test showed I had an elevated Rheumatoid Factor on my last test with my old doctor as well as on the current one. I am finally being sent on to a Rheumatologist and being told that she definitely believes me.
My employer has been extremely good to me over the last two years while trying to figure out what is going on. They have let me go down to a 3 day work week and basically come in when I can on those 3 days. I was off this Tuesday as a "regular' day and was in a lot of pain. Off yesterday because I was exhausted...slept all night, woke up at 6am and back in bed at 8:30am to sleep until 1pm. Back in bed before 2pm and slept until after 5pm. And back to bed at 9pm. Grrrr. Today I feel like I am going to have a heart attack just from the anxiety of the guilt for being off for 2 days and having to go in today. I am sooo loosing it here.
Anyone else get that panic feeling like they are just going to fall apart for no reason at all? Hubby is trying so hard to keep me together and I am doing my best while my daughter is sitting here in front of me, but know I am over the edge when she is gone. Am I the only one that goes to this extreme??
Sorry,....had to rant somewhere.