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Old 09-27-2012, 10:24 AM   #4
vanessa975 vanessa975 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: tucson, az, usa
Posts: 6
vanessa975 HB User
Re: Going over the edge...

Just had a panic attack yesterday actually. I tried something new. Usually, I push myself, because I was born with an enormous sense of guilt and resposibility (i.e. 8 kids and full-time job)..LOL. But yesterday, I made myself calm down. I sat at work and did nothing for the last half hour, I just breathed and said "I will not let this overcome me, I am too good of a person to feel this way, and it is not real, whatever is out of my control is OUT OF MY CONTROL!" Easier said than done! I still wanted to scream but I just kept repeating it over and over. I just came out of a really bad flare fever of 101 to 102 for 68 days, and pain..well..we won't go there. So, I did not want to ALLOW myself to panic myself into another flare. I went home told my kids to make dinner and told my hubby to leave me alone! It was the first time I did for ME instead of for everyone else. Guess what? It worked. I sat in my room and read, let the tv watch me and I calmed enough to have a peaceful nights sleep. I am proud of that...
When I am flaring I want to quit my job, I actually think about it, and email the big wigs that I am going to do it. I always get talked out of it. I have a very supportive government school nursing job so, the community I work in is all too aware of the pain I am in.
In this economy, it is easy to say "we are lucky to have a job." With fibro...not so easy. But people without jobs want them and those of us with them dont. The grass is always greener on the other side....KNOW WHY??? Pardon my french, but it is because there is $hi# over there...that IS what makes grass grow right?
I hope this post makes you smile, and I hope you know you are not alone sister!

Last edited by Administrator; 09-28-2012 at 11:29 AM.

 
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