Originally Posted by Brocallie
Thanks so much for your reply. Yes, you sound a lot like me concerning the emotions, the distrust, perhaps even the "shame" of it all. I really appreciate you sharing.
I met with a therapist on Wed. Much to my surprise, we connected instantly. During the history taking process I was shocked to find myself having flashbacks, saying things that indicated I was still experiencing the traumas in a "present tense" form, and even had a panic attack in the therapy room. That indicated to me that I really felt safe with the therapist.
I have some "pre-treatment assignments" to do until our next appt, when we will tackle the first target...the one that kind of unleashed ALL of the mess. She feels it is important to get that one settled and then we can address earlier and later traumas.
It was nice to have things validated, and to have some hope offered. She said it would be a long process due to the severity of my situation. What choice do I have, though? Living like I am now is not really living.
That is wonderful!!! That connection to your therapist will be wonderful as you go forward. I do recognize the words, assignment and tackle the first target!
I remember having to do assignments to feel safe letting the emotions come out, and learning how to know when I wanted to put them away for the day, "in a containing box" so that I could go about the rest of my day.
I am so excited for you!
About the "what choice do I have" - this is the choice, to accept that life will be as it has been ,or to imagine and bravely work hard on you and your only life.
I know and tell myself, when 'the work' to regain my happy spirit gets hard and I think that it's too hard, that I am fighting for my life - you were born to have a good life - what else do I have to lose?