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Old 10-04-2012, 12:08 PM   #1
DoinIt4MyFuture DoinIt4MyFuture is offline
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(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1
DoinIt4MyFuture HB User
8 days and counting !?!?!?

Hi guys! I'm new here but feel like I know many of your personally from reading your posts! I'm here for 2 reasons the first being most important... I NEED support! I have been abusing pain pills for a good 3-4 years. It started from a back injury I had, I was prescribed them and took them as directed originally then my husband left me for another woman and I fell into a deep depression and started taking more and more till I got to the point I was taking 20-30 hydros a day or any other pain pill I could access! Recently my life made a turn around for the best... I recently fell in love with my Prince Charming :-) he is a wonderful man that I have known for years and finally got him lol anyway he is great and takes care of me and my 4 kids! Problem being is a few years back I watched him struggle with a heroin addiction that nearly took his life. I convinced him to RapidDetox and get the implant which he did but a few months later he was right back at it again starting with pills then moving to the needle again. Anyway I was clean while he was all messed and had so much to say to him. He wound up in some trouble and spent 2 years in prison! That was his wake up call he's been clean now for 4 years. Well actually he's on Suboxen buts it's better then H! Well I kept my pill habit very quiet and nobody knew I was an addict including him. We started seeing each other about 3 months ago and we instantly clicked and fell in love. The new him was amazing I liked the old him but my god I had to have this man after he cleaned up! I didn't dare tell him tho I was hooked! Not because I was ashamed or embarrassed but I didn't want to trigger him into using again! He spoke often on how he was done with that life but I didn't want to take the chance. So I told myself I'd quit... But never really tried. Just hid it more! Then things with us got serious and we moved into together and it finally hit me that I WANT to be free of this BS. He motivated me so much from his experience and I had a mental moment and actually realized how bad I'd gotten. I lost all my family and friends, had NO money ever, was lying and stealing from loved ones... I didn't want to be that person anymore! I'm 28 years old and still have a lot of life I wanna be healthy for! So last week Thursday was my last "dose" I went off it all cold turkey! I told my man I had the flu and stayed in bed days 1-4 and he took care me but I still couldn't tell him it was wds... And I don't plan on telling him. But at the same time I need support so I came here hoping to find some :-) my other reason is because I'm now on day 7 with nothing and glad the hell part is over! But I'm still having a few problems... One is I'm real jittery all day long it won't stop and it feels like my heart is racing. The other is I haven't slept in 3 days I'm so tired and try but just can't seem to sleep! It's driving me nuts because it's interfering with me taking care of my family! And lastly it feels like I have sunburn... Is this all normal? When will it stop? Thanks to anyone that read this I look forward to the comments!

 
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: DoinIt4MyFuture
Phoenix (10-04-2012), Wendy88 (10-05-2012)