Re: Help please!!!!!!!!!
Hi Amy, first of all breathe.
Why did your husband lose his job? No one loses their job when they go into the hospital, its illegal for him to be fired over health problems. He had to have lost his job from something unrelated? Also, steroids are only 3-5 days; if he is in the hospital longer, he will qualify for short term disability through the law.
Secondly, its MS. Its not a terminal illness. 450,000 people in the USA alone have been diagnosed with MS and 85% of us have relapsing/remitting- which is the best type to have. Reading your post, is sounds like YOU are more upset about this than he is. Im sure he is upset and scared. We all were at the beginning and a first relapse, especially if he was doing well prior, is especially scary; however it is not life threatening. Balance and leg weakness are not the worst things to have to deal with. Many MSers deal with so much worse, and people with terminal illnesses wish they had balance and leg weakness problems. Its all in how you handle this, and view it. Steroids can make people crazy! Its quite possible if he is laying there with an infusion of SoluMedrol running into his arm that he is feeling the affects of the steroids- and thats a horrible feeling. For some people, you want to chew your arm off! This passes, when the steroids are stopped.....so, if this is what is causing his immediate stress, expect it to dissappate as soon as they stop the infusions, or within a few days after.
Your husband is okay to work. And, he is still the same man you married. Unless you view him differently now? IF he were to read this post you wrote, would it hurt him? Or would he agree with you? Most men do not do well with sickness to begin with...you can help him by being educated about the disease and supporting him. Realizing his triggers and knowing when its time to slow down and cut him some slack. Right now, is one of those times.
Look into the MS society in your area and check out some actual support groups. I think youll be surprised to see how many people live perfectly normal lives and get by having MS. I have had MS for years- I work full time, have 3 kids, just finished graduate school and am writing my dissertation for post graduate courses now. And, I have 70+ lesions (much more than the average person) all over my brain and brain stem. IF I can push through- than its possible for anyone to push through. It really is all in the attitude.
Instead of worrying, be proactive! Instead of thinking about what might happen, look at what did happen. Can he still see? Walk? Put his arms around you? Feed himself? Go to the bathroom himself? These are blessings not to be taken for granted.
There is no guarantee that he will get worse- this could be the only relapse he ever has. The Copaxone may not be a strong enough drug for him and at his next MRI they will probably decide that based on radiographical changes....but hes on the lowest of the DMDs. He has plenty more to explore if this one isnt working. AND, as you know, it could start working anytime. I also had a major relapse on month 5 of my first DMD- terrifying. I woke up 75% blind with optical neuritis in both eyes. Ive never been so glad to be on steroids for a week- my vision returned, the pain receded- and everything went back to normal. Yes, I was lucky.....but i stayed on the same drug for 6 more years and never had another relapse. Your husband might be lucky too.
Breathe. Being upset isnt going to change anything for either of you, but your attitude and how you fight this thing will make all the difference in the world..
Hang in there...
RRMS- dx 05