Thank you so much for you're replys. I def needed it! I am a Christian also but suffer from anxiety. Sometimes I get way ahead of myself and go on freak out mode! I know it could be so much worse and I should be thankful for what we have. I cannot handle things when I cannot be in control. Im alot calmer now today. I love my husband with all my heart and I just hate to see him suffer. We have been through hell already. He also suffers from neurofibromatosis. It causes tumors to grow on nerves. There is no medication and surgery is often impossible. We were actually featured on the tlc channel for a documentary. I suffer from fibermyalgia and I had a hyterectomy for cervical cancer. I am just overwhelmed with everything that we have been through. This is def a learning process! I am not giving up I've always been a fighter. I am way more upset than my husband is. But ive pulled myself together. I will always be his backbone. I will never give up. I will never let him give up. So thank you. Thank you for listening to my melt down and being there for me without knowing me. I needed it.