lamictal and flattening out
for as far as i can remember i have had periods of of between half and a full year of intense depression, with paranoia, intense self loathing, isolation, and a constant need to not live anymore. and then suddenly i have felt "ok" for a couple of years, with periods of a couple of weeks of intense happiness within my "ok" periods.
4 years ago i was diagnosed as bipolar 2 (which didn`t come as much of a shock to me), and was put on lamictal, and i have been taking lamictal every day since.
since then i have not felt a need to die, but i still have felt a longing to not live anymore (if that makes sense to any of you). i have not had any intense depressive episodes, but i can not remember any times since i started on lamictal that i have been genuinely happy. while my life used to fluctuate between 9 on a scale of one to ten to -1000 on a scale from one to ten, my life have been at a constant 2 since i started on lamictal.
and i know that for a lot of you here your manic episodes are/have been total hell, and i do not mean any disrespect to any of you, but my happy/hypomanic episodes were actually a good thing for me. they were intense, sure, but i never did anything that put myself or anyone else in harms way.
and while i definitely do not miss the depressive periods i had before i started on lamictal, i do miss the happyhappy ones. my question is: have anyone else here (particularly the bipolar 2 ones of you) experienced a similar "flattening out" after starting using lamictal?
Last edited by rangam; 10-06-2012 at 07:17 AM.