Thread: Health fears
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:41 AM   #1
Scottishgirl30 Scottishgirl30 is offline
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Health fears

Hi everyone. I'm a 30 year old non smoking/drinking female. Never smoked or been drunk in my life! I'd like to think that other than a long love affair with chocolate that I'm fairly healthy. But my whole life, I've suffered from anxiety. This started as a child when I got a stomach bug and vomited and since then I've had a terrible phobia of vomit which at points took over my life. I also had agoraphobia for a period when I was a teenager which I'm glad to say is mostly gone, other than I still have anxiety when I need to fly somewhere.
But now, for the last year, my anxiety has been focussed on cancer. It started with a tooth abcess I'd had for years which came and went, then last summer it started to get pretty painful so I had the tooth removed. A couple of days later I got a terrible cold with a cough that I didn't get rid of for weeks. Normally I wouldn't bother but I'd lost 3 close members of my family fairly suddenly in the space of a few months so I'm not sure if it affected me? Anyway, one day I was bored and looked up leukemia symptoms. With my cough and several other things, (bone pains, petechiae after hot shower), I was convinced I was dying of this disease. Last winter, I could barely function because I was so sure I had leukemia. It took over my life and I literally sat on google all day looking it up. I was too scared to go to my GP but after a while I realized that if I DID have leukemia, I'd probably know all about it and since I had no bruising, bleeding, fatigue etc I thought I was ok. But now, my fear has turned to a fear of lymphoma. I keep checking for lumps, I had 3 bad colds in the space of a month recently, my tonsils look bumpy and enlarged (no sore throat anymore) and I'm just terrified that it's lymphoma or tonsil cancer!! I can't stop getting my torch to look into my mouth and of course I wouldn't even know they were there if I weren't so obsessed. I'm scared to go to my GP incase she tells me the worst.
Sorry it's long, I just have so much to get off my chest!! Argh!!
Any words of advice would be most welcome. Thanks. x

 
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