Re: Possible Aspergers or ADD?
Your son appears to be a little higher level than my dd was at his age. I knew by about age 2 that something "wasn't right" and we began some speech and OT as well as biomedical (supplements, dietary changes, etc) treatments, which we still continue today. At age 10 we began addressing the ADHD with prescription meds as socially and academically she was floundering (although she's always been an A/B student).
At 15 my daughter is on age level in school without special assistance, and even is taking some advanced placement classes. She is learning to drive, is involved in academic tournaments, and has been on one date (with a boy with Aspergers!). Socially, however, she remains extremely awkward, anxious, and has no real friends. It is just too difficult for her to maintain conversations, read social nuances in others, etc. She, too, requires quite a bit of structure and a routine to thrive.
The bossiness, controlling and need for structure your son is showing can all indicate problems, but as I said above, he does seem to be fairly mildly affected. You will know if/when it is time to seek help!