Re: Eminating Evil
Hi my dear friend. I see your heart and don't care how you look. Have you ever seen the twins who are conjoined at the head. They live two-headed and have such courage. They go to college and want to marry. They have great support that we never really got. It is hard when you feel different and been bullied or ostracized in life and want a friend to talk to. I'm your friend and I read your post about pretty women. I'm so sorry that your job has such air heads and that they seem like they have no substance and nothing better to do than to bully you or anyone different. Ugh. I wouldn't like that at all. I've had people over my 26 years working here that have tried to get rid of me and put me on probation but I worked harder and proved them wrong and stayed and they left. Yah!! After chemo my brain wasn't functioning well and I forgot to do things I should have done. I got in trouble and also being a people pleaser I allowed a girl to take the checks I should have sent to the bank and she left them in her file drawers. I really got in trouble for that one. Anyway, I hate criticism and negative things said to me but sometimes I need to hear them and correct my attitude or behavior. About pretty women. I look at women and think some are so beautiful and I went to the Senior Ball in high school, I had to ask the boy, and wanted to see all the girls in their pretty dresses. I was very shy and I met a woman with two girls who is so beautiful inside and out and she liked me as a friend. I couldn't believe it. We are good friends and call each other sisters. So I have learned that a person's outside is not as beautiful as their character and integrity and their compassion for other people. Some people are ugly inside and i don't want to be their friend. I would try to ignore them and find someone outside your work and try to reach out to someone who may feel just as lonely and needs a good friend.
I'm so sorry you feel tormented in going out and feeling everyone is looking at you. I felt that way when I was a teenager and hated walking across the street because I thought people were looking at me and thinking I was big and fat. It was in my head and I realized people are thinking about their own thing and not paying attention to me at all. It amazed me. I'm so proud of you that you went to college. I went to two years of community college and got an AA but employers want more than that so I have stayed at my job being afraid I wouldn't find anything else out there. What did you major in? My dad was so disappointed in me not going on in college but I didn't know what to do. So I got married to the first guy who asked me. UGH! Not wise. I love hearing from you. Keep writing and I am here for you.
Last edited by Administrator; 10-10-2012 at 07:48 PM.