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Old 10-10-2012, 11:10 PM   #2
miss345 miss345 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 109
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Re: I'm so messed up/Help

Hi tak: You don't or can't recover (whichever you want to put it) because you again don't or can't believe in yourself...You don't trust yourself...You feel in your mind from the start that you will never make it....So you don't....

You like I had or have an addiction....I like to say I am recovered and know that I am, but too much pride is never good for any of us....I fought this all my life...Maybe my Mother constantly pushing to be thin when I was young or being too heavy when I was very young because of a disease that just about killed me...Either way, I did not deserve the torment that they placed on me...I was not that fat, but it was rough...This became my struggle for good food...

How can you fight it...When and if you can cut down on the drugs....I knew them all....Darn near killed me too....Only mine was for panic and fear of life...They didn't realize my underlying problem....

I could tell you about a heart murmer and receding gums....Rotting teeth from the strong bile in your stomach is also part of this disease...I purged or vomited...After a while that doesn't work either...Once I went the other way and lost 63 pounds in three months....All on happy diet pills...

You can do it as I did it...I had far too many years of it off and on...Denial was part of the game with my husband...He knew it, but loved me too much to make me doctor...Truthfully, I don't think a doctor would have helped me...It was only when I decided that enough was enough of this that I helped myself...I went cold turkey...I can't tell you how many times during the first few weeks that I went to the toilet and leaned over it....But, I didn't do it....It was hard..But, each day got easier....Or was it each week....

At first I gained weight...I was actually eating food and enjoying it...I would fight myself like mad that I needed to puke...I would assure myself that I would die if I didn't get it up...But, I didn't.....Eventually I did gain some weight and got too heavy....It was then that I learned the real dieting lesson....That meaning healthy meals...and one more thing and the most important that being stress....You must learn to relax and be happy....

This post probably won't go through, but I tried....Good luck....Take care...ILD...

 
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