Re: My Stroke
My journal entry October18, 2012. It seems like a long time since I wrote anything in "My Stroke" topic but in reality it has only been since June 3, 2012 that my stroke occured. I have been back at work for about 2.5 weeks now. I have a desk job but it does required traveling to several remote locations within the city. I'd consider my job realatively stressful and demanding. Strangest thing is that I didn't realize how stressful it was until now. I've been in this field for so long it was second nature.
My return has been difficult as I constantly struggle with fatigue and numbness. I also struggle with the fear of pushing myself into another stroke when I feel the numbness grow or the heaviness in my leg and arm. I did something today that was huge for me. I used my handicap parking hanger for the first time at work. I was embarrassed! I was embarrassed to think what my coworkers were saying. Why should I even be concerned with what they think??? Anyway, it prevents me from walking so far and helps me avoid 3 flights of stairs.
I say this often and I will say it again today, I am thankful. I am thankful that I can walk, talk, and take care of myself. I do worry about being able to continue pushing myself at this pace at work and keep my job. I often think about What IF I have to apply for disability retirement? On a bad day it doesn't sound too bad! I know you know what I mean!
I hope each of you are having a blessed day!
Many hugs to you!