I would never think bad of your culture, that's who you are
Window shopping is shopping but not buying... Pretend you have a endless amount of money, go online and look at everything you would buy. Put together outfits, shoes, accessories and a extremely expensive bag, but just for fun. Maybe write it all down, add it up and see how much you could spend if you could. It would pass the time and daydreaming can be fun. I'm just so sorry you are going through this and there's nothing you think you can do to get help. Maybe you could buy some books on happiness, that might help. Keep in touch and please, keep your head up. It will all work out for you!