I am seeing a psychiatrist for depression and I will get a formal diagnosis soon, but until then I would like to ask some questions.
My doc said that I have depression (I've had that since I was a teenager), and she thinks I could have a personality disorder. I know she's talking about BPD. She won't diagnose me because she's only seen me twice.
I have severe depressive episodes when I go off my SSRIs. I have underlying dysthymia but also major depressive episodes on top of that. I do have periods of self injury. I haven't done that in a few years. I pick at my skin, and have to wear long sleeves because my arms are so bad. I am extremely sensitive to criticism. A small comment will send me spiraling into a horrible depression.
I have anxiety, mostly social. Sometimes I go into a weird state of mind where I think people are all out to get me. I feel physically ill and fearful of people in general. Not sure if that is psychotic. That state of mind disappears when I am on my meds.
The reason I do not think I have BPD is because my relationships are generally stable. I've been happily married for almost 10 years and am close with my family. But, I also have those times where I feel crazy, and I hate everyone, and I feel like everyone hates me. I have times where I cannot stand to be around my family. Once I even seriously considered taking my daughter and leaving town, and there really was no reason for that. I also can't work because there is always a crisis with coworkers. (Usually they hurt my feelings and I quit.)
But, 95% of the time I am OK, and when I take my meds I'm fine.
Could it be BPD or just plain old depression?
(Edited per mod request)