I don't even know where to begin. I lost my dad 10/2010 (Lung Cancer), I lost my Mother after suffering for 6 yrs with Pulmonary Fibrosis, 10-26-2011. I just lost my Sister on 11-2-2012 from Pancreatic Cancer.
I can't stop crying, my house is a mess, and I just feel like crawling under my bed covers and make the world go away. My sister was my best friend and we talked just about every day. But I took care of her and my Mom, through all of their treatments and daily needs.
My sisters treatment was horrible, to the point that I thought it was going to kill her. Weekly chemo and daily radiation. Then a period were they said the tumor was inactive, then gone. FALSE HOPE! 3 mos later they did a PET Scan and the cancer had spread to her liver and lungs. All that torture, for what? She decided to go for another round of chemo, but all it did was make her sick. It wasn't helping, she stopped treatment. They gave her 4 mos. She died in her sleep 1 week after my Mother's anniversary.
So what do I do now? I feel so alone even though I'm not. My husband, and children still need me but I feel like I have nothing left to give. When something is asked of me I get angry, and snippy. Like why can't they just do for themselves. They are all adults, how much is enough. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, LEAVE ME ALONE!
I'm sorry for ranting, I just can't rant at them. I'm just lost and don't what to with myself. Any advise would be appreciated.