Re: the urge is almost unbearable
Is there any way you could avoid or minimize the time you spend at your upcoming family gatherings? I think having to deal with the pain and the possible surgery of getting your gall bladder removed is reason enough to not go to any family gatherings that will be stressful for you.
It may not sound like much, but I think wanting to develop other coping mechanisms and recognizing the ramifications of cutting is a good prerequisite to finding other coping mechanisms. You're already putting forth the effort which I think matters a lot. Maybe after the new med starts to work more you'll find it easier to distract yourself from wanting to cut.
Has your pdoc been helpful at all with devising alternative coping mechanisms?