re: Resenting and Pushing Away My Boyfriend
I think it's natural to feel envious when someone else is achieving success that you want to achieve for yourself, but if you want this relationship to work you're going to have to keep the envy down and instead encourage your partner and display your pride in him.
An example I will use is a technique I use to forgive people when they've hurt me. I'm religious, so I pray for them. And admittedly, at first it's hard to mean it. I mean, how do I mean that I want another person to be blessed, when I'm so upset with them? But after a while, thinking of the person in this manner makes me forgive them, because I can't hold a grudge against them AND wish them the best, right?
It doesn't matter if you're religious or not. You don't have to pray. Just visualize each day the happiness and success you want your partner to have. You may not mean it entirely at first, but you will after a while. And it will force you to let go of your own resentment, because you will be consciously overriding your own resentment and you'll only be able to hold on to one or the other. Since you will be choosing to think positive thoughts for your partner, that will be the one that will win out.
As for yourself, you might try reading "The Strangest Secret" by Earl Nightingale. It's a short essay (he actually read it to his employees as a sort of speech) that explains why we become what we think. It can help you to succeed yourself, in the same way as your partner has.
And heck, you might even take a look at what has made your partner so successful, and try to emulate him.