I am 51 year old daddy's girl and my dad died June 4th of this year just 4 days after his 80th birthday. His death was not unexpected...he had been lying there for about a week and we knew he was going. He died with us at home. My mom, brother, myself and daddy, we were very close growing up. We did everything together...my dad was also my band director.
I cry more now than the first few months. I am a Christian and I know he is in Heaven and that we will see each other again...but I don't know if it is because i have no control over the fact that I just cannot pop over and have a chat with him anymore or if this is normal. I really miss my daddy!
I have spoken to others whose parents have passed away long ago or recently and they all say it is a pain that will continue till the day I die. I also dread when it's my mom's time. I just don't see me being able to handle that at all.
I will be sitting around and something will remind me of him or i will be sitting around thinking about him and wishing he was here and just begin to ball.
I sit at my desk at work with tears in my eyes. At home, I can't even practice the piano as much because he too was a pianist and everything i do music wise or even listening to music makes me cry.
I have a hard time visiting my mom because the house, daddy built the house, planted the trees...everything reminds me of him. My perspective on life and living has changed drastically.
i have read some other's posts, hoping that a release in the pain will come to no avail. Maybe I just want to share, i really don't know.