Re: Resurfacing Memories - Molested by Father.
Hello darling. What a horrible story. One I can relate to, in similar but also different ways... The pain of it being from your father, I cannot even imagine how the feels. The person who is suppose to PROTECT you more then anyone, has BETRAYED you. I went through this experience when I was 8 for two years. I am now 19 and the last year or so, flashs have been coming back into my memory. This is because it is post traumatic stress disorder. And these flashes will come back into your life whenever something else may be getting you down. Some days you will deal with it better then others, it will be a constant roller coaster and burden on your life (at times). If you have lost your job or can't pay the bills or there's another emotional issue going on in your life, this issue will rear its ugly head too. Because your brain goes back to other times when you have felt distress and remembers those feelings too. You need to take control of your emotions in your OWN head. One technique my psychologist taught me, was to actually block out these emotions (obviously not in life in general, but just when they occur at times that are most inconvenient, like when your sitting on the bus in public or something) Say to yourself in your head 'NO, I AM NOT GOING THERE TODAY'. Obviously this is no long term solution, but this helps me sometimes on a daily level. But then there are the days where nothing will help to block the pain. I think you should tell your partner... This will make you closer (depending on how he reacts, as I have had some pretty insensitive and unemotional responses from past lovers, and then I had one who was absolutely shattered) BUT it made him understand ME more... This will not destroy your sex life by telling him... The sex is about YOU TWO, and how much you love HIM. Don't give your father the POWER to ruin something so beautiful between you and your man. Your mother does not sound like she is very supportive, or maybe deep down, she is in denial because the pain hurts too much.