I am an addict, Ive kicked three different drugs but struggle with the hard stuff now. I am a functioning alcoholic. I drink and i pass out. I go to work, i do a good job, i drink, and then i pass out. i get up and i do it again. on time. my boss knows when ill be there. and so does the cashier at the liquor store. I am drunk right now. I found this page seeking answers on how to deal with my anger guilt, hatred and remorse, but mostly the hatred in my heart. I find myself thinking back 35 years and getting physically ****** off. i Have isolated myself as much as i can. I cant sleep more than a couple hours because these horrible dreams wake me. im so f'n tired. I wish, i pray GOD would enter my life again. i was never more happy.Im so sorry. i cannot forgive myself. how can i get through this? I feel so weak.