Originally Posted by sportivetricks
Okay, AllandNothing. No, I didn't try to stop the wedding, I didn't think it was my place. I told her that I loved her too, but I thought she should do what she thought was right. I didn't think 3 months of stolen moments gave me the right to tell her what to do with her life.
So I get it now. You told her you felt the same and she choose to go on with the marriage. That makes a big difference to me. You see, if I told someone I loved him and he just said "thanks" -- you know, blew it off, I certainly would not change my marriage plans. But knowing she loved you and you loved her and her going on with the wedding does show a level of immaturity.
You have the right to talk this out with her. I'd suggest you make sure you have your thoughts together because it will almost have to be a once and done conversation. Clearly you need closure on this subject or you can't go forward with her. It is odd to me that she seems to be sort of stuck in this past, but it was a big mistake and sometimes those are hard to get over. They can be even harder to get over when you knew going in it was wrong. She might be concerned that history is going to repeat, questioning herself. She needs to tell you. If you can get her to open up and have a gentle, reasoned conversation, it might help her out a lot too.