I think I know how you feel. Don't be disheartened, just keep on going and you will get through your problems. I'm having trouble as well at the moment. About all these horrible thoughts your having, you know that it isn't you thinking those thoughts, it's your OCD. Just don't give up and try to relax. This probably hasn't helped but I thought that maybe someone letting you know that your not alone might help.
I hope you get better soon.