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Old 12-03-2012, 03:09 PM   #2
Seraph Seraph is offline
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Re: NOBODY likes my stepson (12) , including me...

This poor kid is really the family target, isn't he? I know you probably have the best intentions, but the way you describe this boy shows the way you think of him. Do you think it is possible that he doesn't know that you don't like him? I think not. He sounds like the most unhappy kid, and why not - all his siblings pick on him, so even his home is not a safe place from bullying. I bet he cops it at school too. Look at the words you used and try a different interpretation:
Wimpy = zero self esteem
Whiny = no self-defence skills
Hypochondriac = deep anxiety
You are not a horrible person but you do need to remember that this little boy has problems and a fair bit of it comes from being totally unacceptable for being himself. He gets bullied by his family, and there is definitely an undertone of "he asks for it". It sounds also if your help is all geared to changing him. It will not work. This help can only come from an approach of total acceptance, eg "you are you and I love you as you are, but we can find ways of helping you to deal with life". At the moment, he is hearing "you are not good enough to be loved".
Sera