Panic attack or something else????
Hi I have been diagnosed with extreme anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD- I cannot tolerate disorder and create lists and label everything. I am also apparently bipolar. I have the pressured speech, sleep disturbances, issues at work when very tired and in physical pain. I have also begun to have panic attacks. These are very crippling and causes me to make poor decisions so have troublea at work. Since early this year I have begun to have these very weird episodes where I an almost detached from everything around me. I hear but can't hear. See but can't see. It is hard to describe I can't walk well or I feel Im going to fall over. Driving is also a challege so these episodes just come on with no apparent warning. I feel self-conscious and feel like I am being watched. It takes freat concentration to drive, walk, etc. I feel deugged although I have not taken anything out of the ordinary nor do I feel depressed. I feel like I am on Prozac- it was one if the first deugs I took after my sister's suicide triggered all these issues. Even then I did not have these strange attacks. The last one was so bad I had to be led to bed. After sleeping for a while I felt like i was being washed over with serotonin and dopamin. I felt great and did so for a while. Although i am not at the height of my depression where I am catatonic and not even Able to work. For about 20 years I have suffered frim depression but I do struggle and I am living a happy stable life. People blow off depression. You can't just 'be happy' so I tell noone my issues but it does cause me problems . I am a teacher and will sometime be lecturing and forget in midaentence what I am saying. Perception is everything. I haven't pursued my Ph. D. For fear I will not have the energy to complete it. I do not understand why I have these episodes since I have adjusted my life to be calm, less stressful and simple life.
I am not an alcohol or drug abuser. I do not have violent tendencies or anger issues. I have tried for 20 years to feel normal and happy. I have tried everything from clonazepam, to alprazolam- which does help with the anxiety, to every new SSRI on the market. I now take 20mg of Paroxetine a day. I dont know if it helps but I can at least afford that drug. Some others are too far out of my financial reach.
I also have constant migraines but that is another issue. Any advice?