95 yr old woman, Day 3 of energy surge
Despite being a strapping 58 yr old man, with serious job and family responsibilities, I am an emotional wreck. Mum (she's a Brit) has been living with us for over 8 years, in declining health, but really healthy in comparison to others, her main problems being advance macula degeneration and memory loss. She is in day 3 of an energy surge (which has been great, we got to talk, and she is quite fine with dying if it isn't going to be painful). She has wondered for years why she is still here. So we got to talk about this today, currently she is sleeping like a baby, while I am fighting to keep my tears off my keyboard. She has had every stage other than the death rattle. The Friday before Christmas she was particularly confused and wound up vomiting all day. During the next two weeks her skin changed color, she could barely eat or drink, and slept most of the time, and the bowel movements went everywhere, and the smell wasn't human. Sunday last (Jan 6) it was like she was a year ago, she woke up pretty lucid (but still had no idea what year it was) and she ate a half sandwich. I took the opportunity to phone the UK as she was chatty Kathy all day long. Ditto yesterday and today.
Question #1 - Mum never smoked, her breathing is clear and regular. Is there any chance she could miss the death rattle stage? She panics when she can't breathe properly, and I don't want her to suffer.
Question #2 - Is there any chance that she could have actually dodged the bullet this time, that somehow she really has come to?
Question #3 - Assuming the answer to #2 is No, how long could this surge of energy and awareness last? The best I read on the web was "a few days" but most likely 24-48 hrs, which she is well past as I type.
Question #4 - I don't know what else to say to her about passing, I think we had closure on everything months ago (she was sure she was dying then and we already had her affairs in order). Is there anything I should be saying or emphasizing? I didn't want to say too much about the dying process, just focusing on that she was okay, we all loved her. Part of me wants to talk about my Dad who passed over 40 years ago, but I haven't as that's my agenda not hers. Any thoughts on this?
Thank you very much for your care of others by having a forum such as this, it truly helps a lot.
BTW, over the past three months (about the time the incontinence started) we were blessed with the help of a relative who lives close by in Portland OR, she is wonderful with her, without her help my wife and I could not have made it through.