Re: Please can anyone help? Dad has Emphysema.
oh wow, it's a difficult situation you're in. To put it basically, you can't help your dad. he has a lifetime of being the way he is, and now he's very sick. he'll never get better in the way that his lungs will improve, and basically I can only imagine it to feel like having asthma all the time with a feeling of suffocation. My mom died of lung cancer...I have asthma, and can only imagine the continual feeling and know it's uch worse.
Initially, i would suggest you post this in the family relationships forum. The issue isn't his lung illness, it's the most obvious of where he is at this time...
If he didn't have emphysema...would he be the same?
Do you have any siblings?
How is your relationship with your mom?
I think you should consider to seek counselling or therapy, for you cannot do this alone and be objective. It also doesn't allow you to be supported by someone who is unbiased.
It sounds as though you're a very giving person.
have you ever sat down with your dad to ask him about stuff? What was his growing up life at home? How is he with his siblings?
There's lots in play why we are the way we are. Some of us need more from others, and I think every girl needs acceptance from her dad.
I grew up in a dysfunctional home, I did deal with issues after my parents died through therapy.
It was a most important thing for me, and now that I'm much older...I can relate to some of my parents' issues/dysfunction from a different and older perspective.
Hang tough, you're not a horrible person if you're wanting to get help in your situation. It might be ongoing, but the main thing is that if you want to connect with your dad, you'll have to find another strategy.
It's all a matter of perspective!