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Old 01-17-2013, 11:25 AM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1
Proboss HB User
Re: Not feeling real/life feels like a dream

I am going through the same thing right now. I went through a similar episode in 2004, and eventually came out of it and have lived a normal life... good jobs, got married to a great woman. My first episode in 2004, my anxiety started making me question my own existence, and I had this terrorizing thought that I was alone just floating out on the planet earth alone.. it would send me in to panic, and the panic brought me back to the thought... complete catch 22. This is because severe anxiety makes you lose perspective and context of how you fit in within the world (disassociation).

Its nine years later, and I'm going through it again and its pure hell... Like living in a nightmare.. It throws me back in time to 2004 when I had the same thoughts, although this time the terrorizing thought is the same as what you described regarding perspective. Its like Im seeing the world through my eyes, and I question whether anyone else sees it my way, even objects in the room. I know how absurd that is, but it FEELS real at very high levels of anxiety, but this does not mean it is real. You describe feeling divorced from your life and having no memory and I totally relate, but that has everything to do with state your brain is in. When you begin to calm down, feel inside your body again, the memories will come back and your existence won't feel so foreign. I almost describe my experience as having a bad acid trip that I can't escape, but I believe that to be a testament to the unbelievable power of our own neurochemicals and how they can work against us at times.

all the best