Gosh Reach, thank you so much. You made ME get teary.
Its the only way I can try to get better. I still go over my pill amount... I snort them sometimes, bad things. But I want more for me. I know I'm doing better... I use to just sit at home all the time and watch each sunny day go by. But now Im busier than ever, and I'm not even working! I see so many friends... I even told some about my addiction and I have their support.
But I know I need less on hand. I don't want to tell my doctor... she is weird and would flip. My old doctor would've been supportive. But I'm just going to tell her I have less day to day pain, which is true, and I'd like to try cutting down to my original script of 2 Sept ago... 150 a month. The dilaudid I still need but I don't abuse them so I think it's ok.
Your words mean so much Reachout. Ive read what you've been through and I know you of all people know the struggle.
I love being with friends, hiking in the sun, etc... I can't let myself slip into the darkness again. It's exhausting and it's killing my spirit.
Ive even lost over 30 pounds! I needed to lose 30 and I made my goal... But I'm gonna go for 20 more cause then I'd be super healthy.
Trying so hard to get all my ducks in a row... but it's going to take time as I trim off the pills.
Thanks again Reach.
I hope you are doing well too!