I'm not sure where to begin...I think I just need some support. I feel like I'm such a screw up.if is not one thing its another. As long as I can remember, i've always had a secret (hence the user name). although my secrets were never really secrets at all. Its usually very apparent when someone is using. I know it was for me. I either lost mad amounts of weight, wreaked like liquor our just looked zooted. I've beat a lot of my demons, but so many still linger. Right now I'm taking narcotics prescribed for a very legitimate reason, but the problem being I cannot take them as practiced. Cannot isn't the right word, I choose to not take them as prescribed. I have MASSIVE amounts of guilt over this. I'm taking around 10 percs daily. I was taking them as prescribed until about a month or so ago. I'm not making excuses but I know I'm taking them to numb myself... From a husband who chooses other things over me( I'm not talking video games), is inappropriate and mean. He was never this bad until everything happened to put me in the situation of taking these meds. Just to numb myself from a life that isn't even that bad. Things could always be worse.
I'm scared to death of the pain but just a scared of not having these stupid pills.
Thanks for listening...