Thread: need help
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Old 01-25-2013, 09:30 AM   #7
alwaysasecret alwaysasecret is offline
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Re: need help

Thank you for the reply reach. I will plan on talking with my doctor about a medication regiment that will still be effective but not enable me to abuse it. I know there has to be other meds that will work. I know that it won't be easy, but nothing I've ever done in my life that's been worth while has been easy. I know I can't live like this. I was a severe alcoholic from about 19-26 years old. The non functioning, wake up in the middle of the night to take a swig of the vodka bottle. I Lost everything I had, even my family almost gaveup on me. I went to detox 3-4 times, each time just thinking about that next drink. I NEVER in a millionyears thought I would beat that demond, but I did. I went to jail and I prayed and prayed for Gods help and about a week into my jail stay I realized what I'd been doing not only to myself but to everyone I loved. I was killing myself and everyone around me to without even realizing it. I've never looked back or even had the urge to drink at all. I now see that I replace one bad habit with another. I also suffered with anorexia as teenager, and I go back to that a lot without even realizing it until ten pounds are gone. And obviously with percocet now. I'm always running so far away, until I forget where I was to begin with. I don't even know if that makes any sense.
I really think hubby would throw it in my face if I were to be 10% honest with him about me overtaking my medication. He has addiction issues as well. He steals the percocet I have, even if its in a lock box. I've gone through two lock boxes on the last few months because the lock breaks from him picking it, or he will steal them right behind my back out of my bag and then lie to my face when I have spots proof he has. He's admitted time and again of this behavior among others and will promise it will never happen again and two or the days later its the same BS. we obviously have alot of issues that need to be worked out and I pray for my daughters sake and ours that we are both strong enough to be 100% honest about everything and make this work. Because it isn't fair to him if I don't be 100% honest if I'm asking him to be. Sorry, I'm working things our in my head a little here.
Thank you for all your support. It feels so good to be honest...

Last edited by alwaysasecret; 01-25-2013 at 09:34 AM.